The first time I fell in love was at school. He was adorable and shy, which I find an extremely attractive and endearing quality. Everytime I saw him, I would almost get whiplash from quickly turning my head away, in a misguided attempt to make it appear as if I wasn’t staring. I’d sometimes end up gazing into his eyes by accident, after walking through a door and would be overwhelmed by a feeling of euphoria. This can only be described as 100s better than an **** or alcoholic / drug induced high.
Having never had a boyfriend at that time ie: little experience of boys in a romantic sense, I was too cowardly to ever talk to him. He could have been a complete jerk for all I knew. I’d spend my evenings, imagining what he was actually like, whilst listening to programes such as “snog on the sofa” on the radio.
10 years later, last year infact, whilst slightly under the influence and feeling very low after having my heart broken by my long-term uni boyfriend, I spontaneously decided to send my ‘school crush’ an email via friends reunited. I told him how I still dream about him, how he’s always there in the background etc. Generally confessing my undying love for him……
I had that frame of mind where you think ‘Life is too short’ so why not do something drastic, wild, rebelious, heart-pounding. The next day I woke up cringing, have I made a mistake? Its either incredibly brave or incredibly stupid but reached the conclusion that ‘a life half lived is not worth living.’ (isn’t that how the cliche goes?)
Anyway, he replied after a month and made me feel completely foolish. I had poured my heart out and in turn received a cold, unemotional response with absolutely no reference to anything I had said. It was a politicians speech, avoiding answering any awkward questions. I wouldn’t have minded if he’d just said, “I have a girlfriend or I’m not interested or even I don’t remember you,” but nothing.
I guess women are generally more romantic and less witholding than men.
Anyone else care to share their memories of falling in love or their first kiss, however disasterous or embaressing?
“Same with mine – heartbroken, devestated and even now would love to get in touch, but maybe its best to just stick with the memories.”
Simon Owens
“My first love used to work on the reception desk at my work experience placement when I was at school. It was the first time that I had met anyone so spectacularly beautiful and being deeply unexperienced in the communication department with fully grown beautiful women, I just turned into an absolute idiot every time I walked into the building.
Having walked in to reception one day, following a naughty late night, she said to me “Ooh Adam, you like awful today…”
She may as well have plunged an axe into heart! Such an innocuous comment, that she surely meant no malice by and my newly breaking voice quivered even more unpredictably for that day.
The scenario reminded of the situation depicted by The Who song “Pictures of Lilly.” I fell in love with an an image and a fantasy and being a teenage boy with hormones running riot made it immensely more complicated and embarassingly more uncomfortable.
Now funnily enough, I also bumped in to her when returning to my home town for a school reunion, she was still frequenting the local pub near to my old school and so I rather cathartically told her that I used to have a huge crush on her and we laughed about it.
She had obviously had one too many bottles of hooch and asked me out in a desperately crude manner in front of my girlfriend and when I politely declined and introduced my beloved Sara, she told me that I had gone right up my own @rse, was stuck up and a few other unpleasantaries……
Wonderfully shattered illusions.”
Adam Eason
“The best book I have ever read about love is called The Art of Loving by Eric Fromm written in 1954. He sees love not as romanticism, or some form of high, but as a commitment. A promise which people need to work at keeping alive.”
Louisa St.Jude
“My first love was as painfull as it was heartlifting and wonderful. It’s a cherished memory and taught me an awful lot in a very, very short space of time.
I met her two years ago a day after after a school reunion – which I missed!
Much has changed…”
Terry Gibbs
“Do you know the song from the play South Pacific, some enchanted evening you will see a stranger — across a crowded room — then fly to her side and make her your own???
That was me. I was in the Navy and my ship was pulling out the next day at 0800. In fact, a buddy and I each had to start up a nuclear reactor plant at 0400 so that the ship would have the power to get underway. The two of us decided to go to the officer’s club for two last drinks and we chose to go in uniform to make sure we didn’t go out in the city and get back too late to get any sleep.
Sitting at the bar, I saw a woman dancing with an officer senior to me and that was it. I flew to her side. She gave me a fictitious name (knew who I was and wasn’t about to get involved). We ended out going to her girlfriend’s parents house on the naval base where a party was going on. She was interested in food not drink so we went into the dining room and since no one else was there I grabbed her and kissed her. Ever heard bells during a kiss?? I did.
How we got finally got together is too long a story for here, but we are still married with two wonderful daughters and our love still amazes most people.”
Ben Simonton
http://www.bensimonton.com/
i left my girl friend for another. biggest mistake of my life. i would do anything to go back. im confused because shes all i can think about. can someone tell me is she as amazing as i remember or am i having some kind of insanity nostalgia?